F.I.G.

Tuscaloosa, AL
$6-$9 Lunch Entrees
$12-$16 Dinner Entrees

Looking for the perfect lunch place? Search no more! F.I.G. (Food is Good), a snazzy cafe with a sophisticated menu, never fails to draw a crowd, whether casual or professional. This is not, however, an establishment for a business lunch, but a place to gossip! The food is as chic as the decor, with walls the color of key lime pie and a modish red and white striped awning adorning the entrance. During high-volume times, such as workday lunch, service may lag a bit behind demand. Servers, however, are invariably hard working and thoughtful. You won't be late returning to work, but you might cut it close.

F.I.G. is known for innovative ingredients, creative combinations and playful presentations. Take their entree house salad with smoked Gouda, buttermilk dressing, bacon, red onion, grilled chicken strips, and tortilla crisps. F.I.G. layers these ingredients like a trifle in a tall, oversized glass. Once brought to the table, it is poured out onto a large plate for enthusiastic consumption. I have yet to finish one of these salads. For a hedonistic person like myself, that's saying something.

Their tomato and fresh basil soup, optionally topped with cheddar and bacon, is zestfully savory without being overly acidic. The Greek pizza appetizer, with its homemade crust, light pesto base, grilled chicken, mozzarella, goat cheese, spinach, and toasted walnuts, is one of the best things I've ever eaten. The sweet potato fries with Asian dipping sauce are fun and nutritious.

Most of F.I.G.'s selection are healthy, like the Napa Valley chicken salad with grapes and pecans ... not to mention the goat cheese salad with mixed baby greens, sliced almonds, dried cranberries and chevre with a balsamic vinaigrette. However, the half-pound Black Angus Bama burger, while certainly not cholesterol-free, is thick, juicy, and completely satisfying. Or try the fanciful Fried Green BLT with fried green tomatoes, bacon, lettuce and creole mustard on a Kaiser roll.

I had one disappointing experience at F.I.G. My Rio chicken wrap arrived without the promised cashews, avocado, Thai mayo, and tomato tortilla. I can understand leaving out or substituting one ingredient, but four? Luckily, the staff graciously fixed the mistake. After all, it's not what happens, but how wait-staff responds that matters most. Or maybe what matters most is the dessert that follows such a mishap, such as the Chip-A-Roo. When eating those two warm chocolate chip cookies, vanilla ice cream, whipped cream, and chocolate syrup, a misassembled Rio fades into the distant past, and one enters a state of anoesis. This is my newest word. It means "a state of mind consisting of pure sensation or emotion without cognitive content." Yep, that about sums it up.

I have always had positive experiences with F.I.G.'s inventive and well-priced daily specials. In fact, F.I.G.'s prices are competitive, overall. Their most expensive entree, the filet mignon, is only $16, compared to most restaurants' range of $24 to $32. For a more commonplace point of reference, F.I.G.'s side salad is a mere $1.99. Beverages, however, may present a hidden cost; F.I.G.'s drinks are served by the bottle ... ergo refills are, lamentably, not free.

Perhaps F.I.G.'s greatest appeal lies in the diversity its of menu options. Whether you are male or female, laid back or flossy, informal or fancy, you will love F.I.G.

4 Kudzu

Chuck's

Tuscaloosa, AL
$18-$32 Entrees

Rarely have I ever paid so much for a bad experience. Y'all know me. I'm a softie, a lenient and merciful restaurant critic. I love food. I love people. I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings. I went to Chuck's in Tuscaloosa expecting to have a positive experience, as I had heard good things about the restaurant when it first opened. Well, either they've changed chefs or I need to go to an audiologist.

I wanted to leave the minute I opened the menu. Every entree except one was priced at over $20. I thought: "This business seriously needs to consider obtaining a price point analysis." I pulled my shocked eyes from the menu to observe the atmosphere, which could be described as "Gap casualness at Brooks Brothers prices". The ambiance was unequivocally high-toned, with clean, crisp lines, hardwood floors, ornate railings, curved staircases and balcony seating. There was both a downstairs spirits bar and a sushi bar above. The original, unfinished brick walls encompassed an open floor plan, extended to high ceilings and displayed both transom windows and original art work. Just as I registered the fact that I didn't like the art work, which was rather abstract and primitive, I realized the restaurant was drafty and loud. The high-ceilinged space, unrelieved by curtains or carpeting, echoed unreasonably loud music, making it difficult for me to hear anything my spouse was saying. But this is all subjective. I mean, some people like to go deaf while they're eating. I kept my coat on.

The waiter brought us a chilled wine bottle filled with water: an elegant touch. He cited the two specials: grouper or red snapper. He didn't really elaborate. He quoted the prices at my request, and I ordered the red snapper, as I have never had a bad experience in my life with this fish. It is so light, so tender, and so hard to ruin. Our waiter affably allowed me to substitute a wedge salad for the mashed potatoes. Our cheddar cheese bread arrived, accompanied by fresh, whipped garlic butter. Not bad, but not as good as Red Lobster's cheese biscuits. The wedge salad, with blue cheese crumbles and crispy bacon bits, was satisfactory.

Twenty minutes after taking our order, our waiter returned to tell me he had misquoted the price of my entree, which was actually a few dollars more expensive. Not graciously offering to give me my meal at the already ridiculous price he had originally quoted, he made it clear my options were either to change my order and wait twenty more minutes ... or to pay the higher price. As it was already getting late, I took the latter option, hoping against hope that my snapper would be somehow worth the price.

However, it quickly became clear I was paying solely for atmosphere. My snapper, which my waiter defended as "fresh from the Gulf" and "in season", resembled nothing so much as an elderly curmudgeon with an obstinate interior and an even tougher exterior. It was dry and rubbery and unforgiving. It was also tasteless. The lump crab meat with which it was topped, albeit slightly sweet and flavored with a surprising spice (perhaps nutmeg?), was lukewarm. Although usually possessive of my food, I didn't mind at all giving my spouse a taste. My spouse, who can at best be tactfully described as possessing an undiscerning palate, issued his verdict: "Nondescript". The zucchini and squash on the side was perfectly steamed, but while tender and crisp, could not make up for the disappointing entree. I declined to take the remaining three-fourths of my snapper home, thinking even my dog would reject it.

Gentle reader, please do yourself a favor and avoid this seemingly classy restaurant with terrible food and outrageous prices. Both your pocketbook and your palate will thank you.

1.5 Kudzu

Fish Lips

Hoover, AL
$8-$13 Entrees

In the interest of fairness, I usually make it a point to review a restaurant only after it has been open for six months. In this cut-throat industry, in such a difficult economy, running a restaurant is not for the faint of heart. So, I try to err on the side of mercy by allowing managers and staff time to get their sea legs before commenting on the cut of their jib. After hearing Fish Lips has only been running for four months, I was reluctant to review them, fearing they would still be working out the kinks. However, this restaurant was full of surprises.

Everything about Fish Lips was unassuming and understated ... except for the cuisine. Located in the Hobby Lobby strip mall on Highway 31, with not even a sign over the door yet, this hidden treasure had a relaxed, family friendly atmosphere. The simple interior was carpeted, allowing for audible conversation. Clearly a seafood restaurant, the nautical decor was restrained and tasteful. My waitress was consistently available and prompt when needed, but not overly solicitous.

The uncomplicated menu offered a variety of choices at incredibly low prices. Although the selection was not extensive, every item sounded appetizing, from casual po' boys to fine fare. If you want a basket of fried shrimp with french fries, come here. If you want high-quality Pacific snapper worthy of a starched white tablecloth, come here. Either way, you'll get a bargain.

Fish Lips' jumbo lump crab cakes comprised a generous, filling appetizer. Not the fried breadcrumb patties seen so often at other so-called seafood restaurants, these babies were chock full of crab meat, flavorful with red peppers and celery, and topped with sauteed spinach, roasted tomatoes, and a lovely cream sauce. My salad likewise did not disappoint. The green leaf lettuce, red onions, and tomatoes were fresh, crisp, and topped with a surprisingly sweet, homemade bleu cheese vinaigrette. However, the shrimp and corn chowder I selected was thin, bland, and forgettable.

Having ordered the crab-stuffed grouper, I waited with baited breath for my entree. When it arrived, I could not believe my eyes ... or my tastebuds! This consummately balanced nonpareil was seasoned and prepared with obvious skill, stuffed with an abundance of tender claw meat, and crowned with a fresh spinach and lemon cream sauce. The latter was rich but not too heavy. The sauteed red onions with which the dish was garnished added color to the presentation but were unnecessary from a culinary perspective. The entire experience was blissful.

As Fish Lips is located in a shopping center with no big-box attraction, this "Little Tugboat That Can" may need to do some serious advertising to generate the buzz necessary to thrive. Besides getting the word out, another thing this young business could do to increase its clientele would be to obtain a liquor license and start serving beer, wine and spirits with its tasty food. (It never hurts to pair a Chardonnay with your grouper.) Nevertheless, the most important attribute of any restaurant is the food. Fish Lips' mission statement is: "We are committed to create fresh, innovative food". Mission accomplished.

4 Kudzu

The Waysider

Tuscaloosa, AL
$7-$9 Lunch Entrees
$3-$5 Breakfast Entrees

Nobody can say when The Waysider first opened. A waitress stated, "It's the oldest restaurant in Tuscaloosa, open more than 51 years!" An elderly resident swears it was running during the 50's. The Business License Department couldn't verify this, since their records don't go back that far. My theory: The tiny, vividly red house was created in the beginning when God said, "Let there be The Waysider!" Whether it's as old as Methuselah or almost as old as The Machine, locals agree The Waysider's a Tuscaloosa landmark, an old school institution serving up home-cooked breakfasts since time immemorial.

Go past The Waysider on Greensboro. Take a right ... onto the train tracks running down the street. Don't get hit by a train. Take another right, and you'll see the parking log. The Waysider's open for breakfast every day except Monday and for lunch Tuesday through Friday. Last year, The Waysider made Esquire magazine's "Top 59 Breakfast Places in American".

Coach "Bear" Bryant, who knew a real Southern breakfast when he ate one, was a regular at The Waysider. The interior screams "ROLL TIDE!" louder than any Alabama cheerleader. Every square inch of every wall's plastered with Crimson Tide memorabilia. Even the carpet's crimson. Diners sit on chairs with crimson vinyl seats at well-worn, old fashioned tables, taking in news and sports with their morning coffee. Bright yellow mums decorate every table. Peering behind containers of honey and butter, I spotted ceramic salt and pepper shakers in the form of Alabama football jerseys.

The hardworking waitresses really know their customers, many of whom started eating at The Waysider when Moby Dick was a minnow. They know who's vacationing, who's been hospitalized, who's been cheatin', and who's having twins. They "Sweetie" and "Hon" the diners like newborn babies. The customers know one another as well, be they students, football fans or retirees. People who moved away years ago will return just to eat at The Waysider, reliving childhood memories of anthropomorphic pancakes.

No even glancing at the menu, I ordered the ($5.00!!!) breakfast special. The service was especially fast for a packed-out Tuesday morning. Within seconds, I received my coffee. It was slightly weak for my taste, but fresh and smooth. My maternal waitress kept it coming! A plate of two perfectly cooked, over-medium eggs, three juicy, robust link sausages, and grits followed close on the heels of my coffee.

During the murder trial int he movie, My Cousin Vinny, a witness testifies: "No self respectin' Southerner uses instant grits. I take pride in my grits." Although each non-instant "grit" took 20 minutes to cook, mine were a bit thin. Accompanying my meal were biscuits which I underestimated at first. Then I realized these slightly square, piping hot creations didn't come from a can. They were fluffy and contained real buttermilk! They were so good I asked for a to-go box. I just couldn't Bear to leave them behind! My waitress, her Southern drawl lengthening, smugly boasted, "Yeeaah, we serve about 10,000 of those on Sundays. " After paying, I drove directly to the lap pool to swim off the ten million calories I had consumed, the whole time thinking, "It was worth every bite."

The Waysider's affordability is only rivaled by their authenticity. In his 1993 book, Southern Food, John Egerton quotes its former owner, Archie Farr: "Places like this are getting hard to find. And they're even harder to keep going... But [the chains] don't have the pride that we do, and their mass production can't match our freshness and quality. All that plastic food in a plastic environment won't last. Southern food will eventually come back." Amen, y'all.

3.5 Kudzu

The Silvertron Cafe

Birmingham, AL
$8-$11 Lunch and Dinner Entrees
$5-$7 Breakfast Entrees

I've never been a breakfast person. I just don't want to eat anything in the morning. Granted, I'll strap on the feed bag any time after 12:00 p.m., but prior to that ... no appetite. Then I read that The Silvertron Cafe won Birmingham Weekly's "Best Breakfast" in 2009. I said, "Ha! We'll see about that!"

The Silvertron Cafe, named for the television repair shop from which it was converted, first opened in 1986. Its first owner, Alan Potts was beloved by the local community. After his tragic death in 2006, the restaurant closed temporarily, reopening in 2007 under its current owner, Marco Morosini.

I went to Silvertron on a Saturday morning. Walking through Birmingham's historic Forest Park district, I enjoyed the "football weather", as cool as the other side of the pillow. White lights, which must provide a winsome twinkle at night, were strung under the front awning. Inside, I first noticed the artwork, pieces sold by Silvertron's neighbor, the Naked Art Gallery. My favorites were the vivid, folksy paintings by Tina Kirk, which provide an eclectic, unpretentious feel to the retro atmosphere. Built during the 1920's, the building's high, embossed tin ceilings, hanging fans and intricate crown molding transported me back to a gentler, simpler time. Accent walls provided splashes of color reminiscent of ripe watermelon. I sat by windows lined with slender, cobalt blue glass bottles. Listening to Otis Redding hits, my heart rate slowed to a 1964 pace. This was a place for lingering.

The service was prompt and the menu impressive. Silvertron diverges from the commonplace, offering hummus, quiche, and lasagna specials daily. Exploring my brunch menu, I noted Silvertron's affordability and diverse selection, the stress of the current recession falling away. The menu listed several creative variations on the typical Eggs Benedict, as if the word "typical" could ever do this chef d'oeuvre justice. These included Florentine, South-Western, Crab & Shrimp Cake, Yellowfin Tuna, and Steak Benedict. Although tempted by the traditional New Orleans dish, Grillades & Grits, I decided I wasn't hungry enough for such a large meal. So I ordered the Crab & Shrimp Cake Benedict. And a side sausage patty. And a biscuit. Oh, and an order of "fancy grits".

Since childhood, I have bewailed restaurants' inability to properly poach an egg. It is risky to order them, as they usually turn out either undercooked or overcooked, both of which are disgusting. The Silvertron Cafe, however, has evidently perfected the art of poaching an egg. Those perching atop the croquettes boasted golden, creamy yolks enveloped in firm whites. The generous crab and shrimp cakes were outstanding, made colorful by fresh red peppers and celery. Although initially dubious when reading "Creole hollandaise" on the menu, the reality made me a believer. Not for the faint-of-taste-bud, this delectable sauce revealed a kick in the form of fiery, ground red pepper. It took a great deal of self-control not to lick the plate. With all this pizazz, the humble English muffin at the bottom seemed superfluous.

The sausage was mild yet flavorful, and the golden biscuit was so buttery it didn't need butter (did I really say something didn't need butter?!). However, the "fancy grits" surpassed them both. Coarsely ground but cooked to creaminess, they were mixed with cheese, bacon, cheese, tomatoes, and cheese.

Mimosas and Bloody Marys are featured during breakfast and Sunday brunch. With pasta and wine specials on Mondays, Tex-Mex and Margarita specials on Tuesdays, and Martini specials on Wednesdays, this cafe definitely has something for everyone. For a dose of retro goodness at a price that can't be beat, eat at The Silvertron Cafe. I promise you'll get more than you'll pay for.

4.5 Kudzu

Kozy's

Tuscaloosa, AL
$18-$34 Entrees

Kozy's is easy to miss. A humble, white house, which appears deceptively small from the street, people drive past every day without noticing it. They are missing out.

After passing the gardenia bushes at the entrance, I was struck by unexpected interior elegance. Although the arresting black walls are not conducive to ambient light, the restaurant glows with candlelight. Having made a reservation, I was seated immediately at a black-swathed table with comfortable, black leather seating, much as one might find in a pipe tobacco-scented British study. Although intimate, the restaurant is airy, due to the revolving fans on the plum-colored ceiling.

My kind and accommodating waiter, Richard, proffered Kozy's thorough wine list. I ordered the 2007 Chateau la Rame Bordeaux on his recommendation. ("It is beautiful," he said with fervor.) As I was spending the same amount on a glass that I normally spend on a bottle of wine, I was dubious. But as the ruby liquid trickled blissfully down my throat, I thought, "This is worth every penny." Full bodied yet accessible, I could feel the alcoholic sachet of black currants and ripe cherries filling my sinuses. The Bordeaux cured my cold.

After Richard ceremoniously described Kozy's special, I reviewed the other menu options. You would think that a filet au poivre with a cognac cream sauce paired with a lobster tail with a molasses brown butter over sauteed spinach and mashed potatoes, would be a no-brainer, but I deliberated longer than a jury during a murky murder trial. I felt light-headed, swaying between brie-stuffed chicken breast, lamb with a pomegranate demi-glace, and roasted maple leaf duck breast, finally ordering the special.

Richard brought me a crusty loaf of bread, which was white and velvety on the inside ... and some cold butter. You know when butter stays too long in the fridge and starts to absorb the odors of the other foods? In other words, it was not fresh. A restaurant of Kozy's caliber should invest in fresh, whipped, unsalted butter to go with their satisfying bread.

I could almost hear fanfare as my entree arrived. I cut into the tender filet with a stylish steak knife and tasted. The filet was perfectly medium-rare and punctuated by the cracked black pepper. But the only words to describe the cognac cream sauce are exclusively found in scintillating, cheap romance novels (and only in the good chapters), and I don't think this paper will print those kinds of words. My only complaint was that there wasn't more of it. The succulent lobster was sweetened by the hint of molasses. The sauteed spinach was mildly nutty, and the mashed red potatoes (skins included, the way I like it) were creamy and perfectly salted. I ate in slow motion.

Due to toddler-related challenges in my personal life, I was, regrettably, not able to finish my entree at Kozy's. After paying a king's ransom, I took it home, and my (pleasantly surprised) spouse and I split the sumptuous meal in an impromptu candlelit dinner.

Setting aside Kozy's prices (which gleefully ignore today's economic recession), on their own merit, I can recommend the following. The Louisiana Gulf oysters with bearnaise sauce hors d'oeuvre is lovely. My favorite salad at Kozy's is the spinach with lardons (read: bacon), candied pecans, shaved red onion, and creamy Maytag (read: bleu cheese) peppercorn dressing. During autumn, you will enjoy the spaghetti squash with zucchini, red onions, carrots, tomatoes, fresh herbs, and cheeses baked in white wine garlic butter.

No matter what you order at Kozy's, you will leave with your pocketbook lighter, but as satisfied as a cat that's had high-quality, organic cream to its supper.

4.5 Kudzu

Northport Diner

Northport, AL
$5-$8 Entrees

I've had a horrible week. I got a massive speeding ticket, my toddler hit me for the first (but probably not the last) time, my spouse has been grumpy, and my cat bit my hand as I was trying to scratch behind her ears. I haven't been sleeping well, and I've been generally cranky ... okay, I even cried two nights ago. I needed a place to go where I could "eat my feelings."

Northport Diner is the perfect place to find comfort food galore. As I entered the white brick restaurant with its crisp black and white striped awnings, immediately noticing a giant sign advertising homemade milkshakes, I knew I was about to receive the most effective therapy: culinary therapy. I crossed the checkerboard tile floor, seating myself at one of the red vinyl booths. Installed in this snuggery, I prepared for catharsis.

A pleasant waitress brought a basket of cornbread and small muffins. The cornbread was just fine, but the steaming muffins turned out to be slightly sweet yeast rolls. They were so good I took the Lord's name in vain. (He has since forgiven me.) First down!

Northport Diner offers soups (the best being the beef vegetable), salads, sandwiches, half-pound burgers, and an extensive children's menu. However, the winningest items on the menu are the Blue Plate Specials. Between 1920 and 1960, restaurants traditionally served a meat and three on a blue plate for a very affordable price. Although no longer served on blue plates, Northport Diner's specials do not disappoint.

A friend, another feelings-eater, joined me for lunch, ordering the baked chicken with cornbread dressing (that's stuffing to you Yankees) and purple hull peas. She and her Mama are the experts on how to prepare purple hull peas to perfection (try saying that three times fast). She said they were perfectly cooked, and I agreed. The dressing was the second best I ever had, and I have eaten a lot of dressing in my time. (The best was at The Bright Star in Bessemer.) The chicken was well-done but still tender and juicy. Huge gain for another first down! (In case you haven't noticed, I'm not above eating other people's food.)

I ordered the fried catfish with green beans and macaroni and cheese. My purpose in ordering the mac 'n' cheese was to put the diner to the test, as no mac 'n' cheese can beat my Aunt Libby's. Northport Diner failed to beat my Aunt Libby's, because ... well, their mac 'n' cheese was identical. The Italian flat beans had a lovely flavor, but were just a hair overcooked. However, the catfish was satisfyingly crispy and very tasty with a slightly spicy cornmeal breading. First and goal!

I could feel these endorphin-producing vittles causing a horizontal growth spurt, but, knowing I would have to pay the price of my injudiciousness, I continued to eat. My feelings thus exorcised, I paid the rock-bottom price at the counter and left experiencing the euphoria only soul food can conjure. Thus heartened, I felt ready to face the specters of my $200 ticket, my spouse, my child, and my irascible cat. Touchdown.

4 Kudzu