Mr. Chen's

Hoover, AL
$8-$15 Entrees

You know you are eating at a restaurant that serves quality, authentic Chinese cuisine when half of the diners are Chinese. Mr. Chen's, located in Hoover, AL, is just such a place. This restaurant looks small and nondescript on the outside. A chalkboard advertises their daily specials. Enter to a surprisingly spacious and lively atmosphere.

The menu is so extensive it would take anyone weeks to sample each dish. Certain entrees are intimidatingly authentic, most likely ordered only by Chinese and adventurous American customers (spicy intestines hot pot or hot boiled beef belly, anyone?). With high quality ingredients, fresh produce, and skillful preparation, your meal will satisfy. Not to mention the fact that each entree is enough for three people. Appetizers such as fried or steamed dumplings and steamed, pork-stuffed buns are sure to please. Americanized dishes, such as the spicy Kung Pao Chicken, are the best in town. The Beef in Satay Sauce special was simple and delicious. The aforementioned conventional eater (a.k.a. my husband) orders the combination fried rice. Every time.

The waitstaff are accommodating and do not shy away from answering questions about the more exotic dishes. This may not be relevant, but the restrooms are pristine. Blissfully oblivious to the social conventions existing in the Bible Belt, Mr. Chen's is conveniently open sevens days a week.

3 Kudzu

City Cafe'

Northport, AL
$4-$9 Entrees

City Cafe', in nostalgic, downtown Northport, AL is a charming, welcoming meat and three. When you arrive, you will see a line a mile long, stretching from the back of the first room, across the second room, and into the third room. Don't let this deter you. Go to the back of the line. Enjoy the curiously random photographs lining the walls. You will have a table within five to ten minutes. Don't ask me how, but it's true. Although the atmosphere can be somewhat frenetic, it usually does not hinder the enjoyment of the slap-yo-mama-good food.

The fare would be worth an even longer wait than the one you'll experience. While the catfish passes muster, the turkey and dressing, which is served on Thursdays, is my personal favorite. The fried okra is perfect, but the fried green tomatoes leave something to be desired. Their sweet tea can't be beat. (To all you yankees out there: Sweet tea is not hot tea with sweet 'n' low.) City Cafe' has an extremely loyal customer base. This is because they put crack in their food.

One of the best things about City Cafe' is the price tag. They are very inexpensive by current standards, ensuring a regular college crowd. The friendly waitresses provide efficient service. City Cafe' will have you singing the words of the Taylor Grocery Band, "Oh, you're soooo down home."
2.5 Kudzu

The Cypress Inn

Tuscaloosa, AL
$8-$20 Entrees

The Cypress Inn, which overlooks the Black Warrior River, is a respectably large fish in the relatively small, yet charming, pond of Tuscaloosa, AL. The view from your table on a clear day may be one of the most enjoyable aspects of your experience at this popular restaurant. The Cypress Inn has beautiful, freshwater aquariums positioned at the entrance. The restaurant is spacious enough to provide private rooms perfect for business lunches.

The Cypress Inn boasts an ample lunch menu of traditional Southern dishes with creative spins, such as locally-grown fried green tomatoes topped with feta and Memphis sauce (which contains pepperoncini, chili sauce, capers, and white pepper). However, the best selections at The Cypress Inn are not Southern at all, such as their grilled salmon salad, which includes mixed field greens, red onions, dried cranberries, pecans, and feta. While I am usually not a fan of sliced strawberries in salads other than fruit salad, I have to admit they added a colorful beauty to the overall presentation. The fish was perfectly cooked: not dry, but not sashimi. The vegetable plate is a healthy option for those wishing for variety, unless you include the cheddar cheese grits (yum).

Entrees are customarily preceded by a basket of scrumptious, miniature muffins. The Cypress Inn's dinner menu specializes in steak and seafood. I recommend the center cut filet of beef tenderloin, which is topped with a rich Cabernet mushroom sauce. It would be a crime to dine at The Cypress Inn and not sample their key lime pie with its provocative, citrus tang.

Service at The Cypress Inn is a bit unpredictable. The wait staff is friendly and provide attentive service. However, when the restaurant is busy, your lunch hour could turn into a lunch hour-and-a-half, so allow extra time for this possibility. The Cypress Inn's dinner entrees are a bit too expensive, but the restaurant's dignified ambience makes up for this. The Cypress Inn's chief advantages include their comfortable atmosphere, lovely view, and creditable reputation as "the place to go."

3.5 Kudzu

Nabeel's Cafe' & Market

Homewood, AL
$10-$25 Entrees

Nabeel's, located in Homewood, AL, describes itself as "a European cafe' and taverna." A small market is attached to the restaurant, featuring Mediterranean, Middle Eastern and Russian goods. Nabeel's was started by a husband and wife, who were Greek and Italian, respectively.

My husband is Lebanese on his father's side. Since marrying him and subsequently becoming interested in Lebanese food, I have found it to be extremely similar to Greek. My husband is as American as Kentucky Fried Chicken and knows next to nothing of the wonders of stuffed grape leaves and hummus. I can go to Nabeel's both to find delicacies such as these and to expose him to his ancestors' culture. He repays me by ordering the cheese steak (Nabeel's does offer a few "Americanesque" entrees for more conventional eaters).

Nabeel's has an old-fashioned, quaint atmosphere. It is a casual, "cozy" restaurant, while still maintaining a hint of elegance. The booths are made for thin people. I can fit quite easily, but my grandmother had to literally be pried out of her seat after finishing her lunch (luckily our waitress was patient, gracious and physically strong). My grandmother always declines cream and sugar with the excellent coffee served at Nabeel's, exclaiming, "I'm sweet and fat enough." If you are like her, choose a table rather than a booth. That way, you will avoid having to call in the Jaws of Life.

The ingredients sold in Nabeel's market are often used in the dishes prepared for their restaurant customers. The small, Greek house salad has a slightly sweet, vinegar-based dressing, which is also sold by the bottle. Each salad comes with sliced, Italian bread. Nabeel's lentil soup is wholesome and may be served with oil and vinegar at one's request.

Nabeel's is justly famous for their bechamel sauce, which I enjoy, particularly because I have found it impossible to replicate at home. The bechamel sauce is featured in their piece d'resistance (in my humble opinion), the Moussaka, among a few other dishes. The Shrimp Agean is savory and surprisingly filling, as they do not skimp on the warmed feta. The tzatziki is crisp and the sweet mint tea, refreshing. An added bonus: although rich, most of their selections are relatively healthy, as many are prepared with olive oil.

Nabeel's features excellent, original, lunch and dinner specials. One of the most interesting I've had is the roasted quail. Both the specials and the regular menu items are invariably reasonably priced.

Do not forget to order dessert. The baklava is outstanding (made with walnuts, not pistachios), and the tiramisu ... well, you know how I feel about tiramisu.

4 Kudzu

Sitar

Tuscaloosa, AL
$8-$15 Entrees

Sitar is the only Indian restaurant in Tuscaloosa, AL. It is so good that any competition wouldn't last long anyway. Their strength is their lunch buffet, to which they attract customers primarily from the University of Alabama, especially the law school. As long as you don't mind eating lunch with a bunch of lawyers, Sitar is certainly worth your patronage.

The buffet features a wide variety of dishes, including chicken tikka masala, tandoori chicken, and chicken curry. There are also fabulous vegetarian choices, such as palak paneer (spinach and cheese dish) and gobhi aloo (cauliflower and potato dish). They serve wonderful payasam (rice cooked in milk with cardamom and other spices). All may be experienced with warm naan and basmati rice. The buffet includes unlimited chai. Certain meat and vegetarian dishes rotate, so there is always something new to try. The staff are courteous and assist with alacrity. They do not serve Diet Coke, which is my drug of choice; however, I let this slide. The dishes on the lunch buffet are mild by Indian standards, but the entrees at dinner are much more spicy. My wimpy American palate can barely tolerate the dinner menu.

I am warning any potential customers that this fare is addictive. I wake in the middle of the night craving Sitar and chanting "vindaloo ... vindaloo ... vindaloo."

4 Kudzu

Frankie's Market Cafe

Helena, AL
$5-$8 Entrees

I have always loved fried catfish. When I was an undersized eight-year-old with bony knees, I went to a family restaurant with my mother. The waitress took our order, and I chose a whole catfish with sides. She looked at my mother as if to say, "Shouldn't this child be ordering from the kid's menu?" My indulgent mother only shrugged and let me have my way, curious to see if I could actually finish the meal. (You could make any number of assumptions about my possible character deficiencies and the causes thereof from this sentence.)

I ate the whole baked potato with sour cream and butter, all of my broccoli, and the entire fried catfish (except the bones, of course). Then I ate a slice of French silk pie. The meal probably weighed more than me. The children I knew who could eat as much as me could only be found in Laura Ingalls Wilder books and had generally suffered a long-term, snow-laden famine in South Dakota in 1880. But no matter how much I ate as a child, I always remained scrawny.

Frankie's Market Cafe is a delightful stop in the middle of nowhere. My friend, James recommended it. He has a nose for restaurants that serve fantastic catfish, whether they are crowded, vacant, in decent repair, falling down, or converted from gas stations, and all have been in the middle of nowhere.

Not only does Frankie's serve the best catfish I've ever had (and I've had a lot of catfish), but they also have a market attached to their meat-and-three cafe. The market serves fresh, local produce, which is also served to guests in the restaurant. It is buffet-style: just tell the cook which meat you would like and chooses two or three sides. The meats include the aforementioned fantastic catfish, which is locally raised, and usually fried chicken, along with two or three other choices. The sides may include macaroni and cheese (which is considered a vegetable around here), fried okra (which is considered healthy around here), squash casserole, baked beans, and (best of all) fried green tomatoes. Yes, to all you yankees, just like the movie! Green tomatoes are, in the words of the infamous Mr. Collins of Pride and Prejudice, an exemplary vegetable.

Although I can no longer eat whatever I want and still remain scrawny, I would recommend Frankie's to anyone who does not mind driving a little off the beaten path. Their prices for lunch are easy on the wallet, and their portion sizes are generous. Frankie's is open on Saturdays from 7:30 to 10:30 and 11:00 to 3:00, Sundays through Tuesdays from 11:00 to 3:00, and Wednesdays through Fridays from 11:00 to 8:00. The produce market opens Mondays through Fridays at 8:30.

3 Kudzu

The Restaurant Critic

I always thought the ideal job would involve traveling and eating for a living: a restaurant critic. Having worked as a short-order cook, concession stand change maker, short-term pizza waitress, telemarketer, paralegal, do-gooder (aka. social worker), and stay-at-home mom, I realize that none of my previous work experience qualifies me to be a restaurant critic. However, I have loved to dine out since the age of two (thank you, Mom), and I love to criticize (as my husband will confirm). I also love to cook, love to eat, and love to cook and eat things I have already eaten at restaurants (figuring out the recipes on my own). I also love to write (especially if I get to use parentheses). Since probably no one will ever actually pay me to be a restaurant critic, I decided to grace society by doing this work pro bono (a.k.a. starting a blog). I am sure society will thank me ... one day.

A good writer is vulnerable with his or her audience. So first, a confession: I love McDonald's fish sandwiches. LOVE THEM. There is a heinous picture of me chowing down on a fish sandwich on the day my husband and I brought our daughter home from the hospital. HEINOUS. But, I also love quiche lorraine and tiramisu. I hope this means I'm eclectic ... rather than indiscriminate.

I have discovered that I am a fastidious person (something everyone else in my life has known for a long, long time). While I have thought of this quality as negative, I have decided to use it for good. It's not that I have to have everything my way, just a certain way. The way that I like things to be. Since this is not always possible at restaurants, I can at least complain about them when they are not, and praise them when they are. How I like them to be.

P.S. Instead of stars, I have decided to use kudzu leaves as the rating system on these reviews. I think this is appropriate, because, not only is kudzu Southern (albeit by adoption), but, like me, it also devours everything in its path.