Sunday, November 21, 2010

F.I.G.

Tuscaloosa, AL
$6-$9 Lunch Entrees
$12-$16 Dinner Entrees

Looking for the perfect lunch place? Search no more! F.I.G. (Food is Good), a snazzy cafe with a sophisticated menu, never fails to draw a crowd, whether casual or professional. This is not, however, an establishment for a business lunch, but a place to gossip! The food is as chic as the decor, with walls the color of key lime pie and a modish red and white striped awning adorning the entrance. During high-volume times, such as workday lunch, service may lag a bit behind demand. Servers, however, are invariably hard working and thoughtful. You won't be late returning to work, but you might cut it close.

F.I.G. is known for innovative ingredients, creative combinations and playful presentations. Take their entree house salad with smoked Gouda, buttermilk dressing, bacon, red onion, grilled chicken strips, and tortilla crisps. F.I.G. layers these ingredients like a trifle in a tall, oversized glass. Once brought to the table, it is poured out onto a large plate for enthusiastic consumption. I have yet to finish one of these salads. For a hedonistic person like myself, that's saying something.

Their tomato and fresh basil soup, optionally topped with cheddar and bacon, is zestfully savory without being overly acidic. The Greek pizza appetizer, with its homemade crust, light pesto base, grilled chicken, mozzarella, goat cheese, spinach, and toasted walnuts, is one of the best things I've ever eaten. The sweet potato fries with Asian dipping sauce are fun
and nutritious.

Most of F.I.G.'s selection are healthy, like the Napa Valley chicken salad with grapes and pecans ... not to mention the goat cheese salad with mixed baby greens, sliced almonds, dried cranberries and chevre with a balsamic vinaigrette. However, the half-pound Black Angus Bama burger, while certainly not cholesterol-free, is thick, juicy, and completely satisfying. Or try the fanciful Fried Green BLT with fried green tomatoes, bacon, lettuce and creole mustard on a Kaiser roll.

I had one disappointing experience at F.I.G. My Rio chicken wrap arrived without the promised cashews, avocado, Thai mayo, and tomato tortilla. I can understand leaving out or substituting
one ingredient, but four? Luckily, the staff graciously fixed the mistake. After all, it's not what happens, but how wait-staff responds that matters most. Or maybe what matters most is the dessert that follows such a mishap, such as the Chip-A-Roo. When eating those two warm chocolate chip cookies, vanilla ice cream, whipped cream, and chocolate syrup, a misassembled Rio fades into the distant past, and one enters a state of anoesis. This is my newest word. It means "a state of mind consisting of pure sensation or emotion without cognitive content." Yep, that about sums it up.

I have always had positive experiences with F.I.G.'s inventive and well-priced daily specials. In fact, F.I.G.'s prices are competitive, overall. Their most expensive entree, the filet mignon, is only $16, compared to most restaurants' range of $24 to $32. For a more commonplace point of reference, F.I.G.'s side salad is a mere $1.99. Beverages, however, may present a hidden cost; F.I.G.'s drinks are served by the bottle ... ergo refills are, lamentably, not free.

Perhaps F.I.G.'s greatest appeal lies in the diversity its of menu options. Whether you are male or female, laid back or flossy, informal or fancy, you will love F.I.G.

4 Kudzu


Saturday, November 13, 2010

Chuck's

Tuscaloosa, AL
$18-$32 Entrees

Rarely have I ever paid so much for a bad experience. Y'all know me. I'm a softie, a lenient and merciful restaurant critic. I love food. I love people. I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings. I went to Chuck's in Tuscaloosa expecting to have a positive experience, as I had heard good things about the restaurant when it first opened. Well, either they've changed chefs or I need to go to an audiologist.

I wanted to leave the minute I opened the menu. Every entree except one was priced at over $20. I thought: "This business seriously needs to consider obtaining a price point analysis." I pulled my shocked eyes from the menu to observe the atmosphere, which could be described as "Gap casualness at Brooks Brothers prices". The ambiance was unequivocally high-toned, with clean, crisp lines, hardwood floors, ornate railings, curved staircases and balcony seating. There was both a downstairs spirits bar and a sushi bar above. The original, unfinished brick walls encompassed an open floor plan, extended to high ceilings and displayed both transom windows and original art work. Just as I registered the fact that I didn't like the art work, which was rather abstract and primitive, I realized the restaurant was drafty and loud. The high-ceilinged space, unrelieved by curtains or carpeting, echoed unreasonably loud music, making it difficult for me to hear anything my spouse was saying. But this is all subjective. I mean, some people like to go deaf while they're eating. I kept my coat on.

The waiter brought us a chilled wine bottle filled with water: an elegant touch. He cited the two specials: grouper or red snapper. He didn't really elaborate. He quoted the prices at my request, and I ordered the red snapper, as I have never had a bad experience in my life with this fish. It is so light, so tender, and so hard to ruin. Our waiter affably allowed me to substitute a wedge salad for the mashed potatoes. Our cheddar cheese bread arrived, accompanied by fresh, whipped garlic butter. Not bad, but not as good as Red Lobster's cheese biscuits. The wedge salad, with blue cheese crumbles and crispy bacon bits, was satisfactory.

Twenty minutes after taking our order, our waiter returned to tell me he had misquoted the price of my entree, which was actually a few dollars more expensive. Not graciously offering to give me my meal at the already ridiculous price he had originally quoted, he made it clear my options were either to change my order and wait twenty more minutes ... or to pay the higher price. As it was already getting late, I took the latter option, hoping against hope that my snapper would be somehow worth the price.

However, it quickly became clear I was paying solely for atmosphere. My snapper, which my waiter defended as "fresh from the Gulf" and "in season", resembled nothing so much as an elderly curmudgeon with an obstinate interior and an even tougher exterior. It was dry and rubbery and unforgiving. It was also tasteless. The lump crab meat with which it was topped, albeit slightly sweet and flavored with a surprising spice (perhaps nutmeg?), was lukewarm. Although usually possessive of my food, I didn't mind at all giving my spouse a taste. My spouse, who can at best be tactfully described as possessing an undiscerning palate, issued his verdict: "Nondescript". The zucchini and squash on the side was perfectly steamed, but while tender and crisp, could not make up for the disappointing entree. I declined to take the remaining three-fourths of my snapper home, thinking even my dog would reject it.

Gentle reader, please do yourself a favor and avoid this seemingly classy restaurant with terrible food and outrageous prices. Both your pocketbook and your palate will thank you.

1.5 Kudzu

Monday, November 8, 2010

Fish Lips

Hoover, AL
$8-$13 Entrees

In the interest of fairness, I usually make it a point to review a restaurant only after it has been open for six months. In this cut-throat industry, in such a difficult economy, running a restaurant is not for the faint of heart. So, I try to err on the side of mercy by allowing managers and staff time to get their sea legs before commenting on the cut of their jib. After hearing Fish Lips has only been running for four months, I was reluctant to review them, fearing they would still be working out the kinks. However, this restaurant was full of surprises.

Everything about Fish Lips was unassuming and understated ... except for the cuisine. Located in the Hobby Lobby strip mall on Highway 31, with not even a sign over the door yet, this hidden treasure had a relaxed, family friendly atmosphere. The simple interior was carpeted, allowing for audible conversation. Clearly a seafood restaurant, the nautical decor was restrained and tasteful. My waitress was consistently available and prompt when needed, but not overly solicitous.

The uncomplicated menu offered a variety of choices at incredibly low prices. Although the selection was not extensive, every item sounded appetizing, from casual po' boys to fine fare. If you want a basket of fried shrimp with french fries, come here. If you want high-quality Pacific snapper worthy of a starched white tablecloth, come here. Either way, you'll get a bargain.

Fish Lips' jumbo lump crab cakes comprised a generous, filling appetizer. Not the fried breadcrumb patties seen so often at other so-called seafood restaurants, these babies were chock full of crab meat, flavorful with red peppers and celery, and topped with sauteed spinach, roasted tomatoes, and a lovely cream sauce. My salad likewise did not disappoint. The green leaf lettuce, red onions, and tomatoes were fresh, crisp, and topped with a surprisingly sweet, homemade bleu cheese vinaigrette. However, the shrimp and corn chowder I selected was thin, bland, and forgettable.

Having ordered the crab-stuffed grouper, I waited with baited breath for my entree. When it arrived, I could not believe my eyes ... or my tastebuds! This consummately balanced nonpareil was seasoned and prepared with obvious skill, stuffed with an abundance of tender claw meat, and crowned with a fresh spinach and lemon cream sauce. The latter was rich but not too heavy. The sauteed red onions with which the dish was garnished added color to the presentation but were unnecessary from a culinary perspective. The entire experience was blissful.

As Fish Lips is located in a shopping center with no big-box attraction, this "Little Tugboat That Can" may need to do some serious advertising to generate the buzz necessary to thrive. Besides getting the word out, another thing this young business could do to increase its clientele would be to obtain a liquor license and start serving beer, wine and spirits with its tasty food. (It never hurts to pair a Chardonnay with your grouper.) Nevertheless, the most important attribute of any restaurant is the food. Fish Lips' mission statement is: "We are committed to create fresh, innovative food". Mission accomplished.

4 Kudzu