Lovoy's

Birmingham, AL $7-$16 Entrees A restaurant critic on a diet ... what a contradiction! Reminds me of another contradiction from the movie Fried Green Tomatoes: "assertiveness training for Southern women." Nevertheless, I can't avoid the ugly truth: I have gained 13 pounds since becoming a restaurant critic. Embarking on this adventure, my mother advised: "Do what professional restaurant critics do ... taste just enough of each dish to assess the food." However, I knew I couldn't be happy that way ... So I ate. And I ate. And now, I'm on Weight Watchers. With a Points Finder and a stack of Smart Ones, I fondly reminisce about my most recent foray into the jungles of the restaurant industry. Ahhhhh ... Lovoy's. Memories of that meal will sustain me through the next 6.5 weeks (that's at losing two pounds per week). Fans report Lovoy's first location left something to be desired: windows. The dark, close interior was once described by a friend as "mob-friendly" (i.e. "very little lighting"). Notwithstanding, Lovoy's has enjoyed a loyal clientele for over 40 years because of their fabulous food. Entrare 2010. Lovoy's new, posh location in Homewood's Soho Square exudes a simple elegance of which Armani would approve. By day, impossibly high ceilings create a spacious interior naturally lit by cambered picture windows. Sconces provide lighting in the evening, when people gather at the curved bar. Lovoy's enchanting outdoor patio is accented with neutral umbrellas and potted flowers. One would think all this atmosphere would come with a catch. However, the reasonable prices, experienced staff, and menu all remain unchanged, and now, they offer free valet parking. This seems too good to be true ... or at least, too good to last. Lovoy's wine list is comprised of domestic reds and whites, selections from Australia, Germany, and Italy, and two Champagnes sold by the bottle. The Italian Mezzacorna Pinot Grigio was crisp but somehow anticlimactic. I replaced it with the Hogue Reisling. Wine snobs may scoff at a twist-cap wine, but it was fantastic. Delicately sweet, it converted me from a confirmed Chateau St. Michelle fan. The appetizers likewise improved with practice. Specifically, the calamari was bland, but wait! The Baked Oysters Lovoy were to-die-for. These tender morsels are baked in the shells on which they are served. Devouring every last one with the Lilliputian oyster fork, savoring each buttery Italian bread crumb, I longed for the next bite while still relishing the first. Delectable tossed green salad followed, mixing field greens with fresh spinach and cherry tomatoes, topped by Lovoy's peerless bleu cheese dressing. The shrimp fettuccine Alfredo was perfectly executed. An Alfredo saucier myself, I believe they nailed the sauce. The stuffed shells, meat-filled pasta sachets topped with a light marinara, were thoroughly satisfying. The chicken Tommaso was the only entree to disappoint. The tender chicken was in harmony with mushrooms and white wine, but the lemon butter sauce was short on butter! The notable food writer, Nora Ephron, was born Jewish, but is not particularly religious. In a 2009 interview, she told NPR, "You can never have too much butter - that is my belief. If I have a religion, that's it." On a positive note, Lovoy's cheesecake is presented in a tony Z-stem martini glass, scooped, not sliced. Described in the menu as "light" (another contradiction!), the sinfully rich cheesecake fortunately belies its advertisement. I now rely on you, gentle reader, to carry on my tradition of gluttony by patronizing Lovoy's while I weep at the table while picking at microwaved rigatoni with faux chicken and insubstantial Alfredo sauce ... Until 6.5 weeks from now. 4 Kudzu